Not a Good Soldier of Christ, A Rebel of Love

You then, my child, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus; and what you have heard from me through many witnesses entrust to faithful people who will be able to teach others as well. Share in suffering like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving in the army gets entangled in everyday affairs; the soldier’s aim is to please the enlisting officer. And in the case of an athlete, no one is crowned without competing according to the rules. It is the farmer who does the work who ought to have the first share of the crops. Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in all things.
 Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, a descendant of David—that is my gospel, for which I suffer hardship, even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But the word of God is not chained.2 Timothy 2:1-9

     A good Soldier of Christ. Ok. So not me and not a metaphor that works for me. With my church we are embarking on a year long adventure through Brian McLaren's book We Make the Road by Walking. This text from Timothy is one of the texts I am supposed to wrestle with this week. So As I start reading today there is it be a good soldier of Christ. And I stop there, I can't see beyond those words.
     For I have just finished preaching on Matthew 2. We saw these travelers come seeking the new king and running into Herod. Herod finds where the new king should be and is full of fear. He is fearful of this coming king and when he trembles those around him tremble. So he asks the travelers to report back to him about this king. They go home by another road and never make it back to Herod. But  Herod is full of fear and has power, military power. His fear leads him to slaughter. He decides since he doesn't know for sure which child is the new king, he will kill all the boy children. He sends the order and babies are slaughtered. These soldiers have to go from house to house killing babies at the orders of a frightened king. So after spending time with this text and the wailing of mother's who babies have been killed for me to read next - Share in the suffering like a good soldier of Christ makes me balk. I don't want to be a good soldier. I don't want to listen to my officer, who in the previous passage asked me to murder the innocent.
     Knowing me, I would have made it through basic training, but if I did end up in the rank and was set to go out on my next mission. I could see myself being more like Finn (from Star Wars the Force Awakens). He doesn't like his orders and he has trouble killing and so he ends up deserting his post. He instead accidentally falls into the rebellion. Most of his actions are just to get away and then to hang with the girl. I don't know that I could be a good soldier for Christ. I want to be the rebel for Jesus, the resistance for Jesus, the follower of Jesus, the prophet for Jesus. But the soldier just makes me squirm like all those songs - Onward Christian Soldiers, Lift High the Cross, Am a soldier of the Cross, Lead On, O King Eternal, Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus... These hymns bother me.
     I understand that some metaphors of faith are not for me and this is the one. So as the text says: "Think over what I have said, for God will give you understanding in all things." So the writer has a point for us to learn that isn't about soldiers, athletes, farmers. I think my word from this, is the advice I heard to female preachers is to listen to stories told by and for men so you can use language that will speak to their hearts. But honestly the soldier for Christ really just pushes my boundaries of the Gospel of Love I follow.
    So let me try my skills as thinking over the word.
    You, you have been given this grace, this gift so unimaginable  from Jesus that you must share.  This life abundant, this love eternal will put you against a world with different priorities. At times you will have to speak out, shout out, stand out, rebel so strongly to get the word of love heard, because once you listened and understood that love, true love requires a different world. This desire for a world of love means that there will be ties you will be tried, tested, jailed, suffer because you dared to speak of a different way, a different life. Remember the Gospel of Jesus, the Gospel of Love.