Jesus, You Know I Love You

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ ¹⁶A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’ ¹⁷He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep. ¹⁸Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.’ ¹⁹(He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, ‘Follow me.’   John 21:15-19

Jesus, you know I love you
you came by my work place and ask me to drop everything
you wanted me to let go of my work
you wanted me to put aside the career I choose
and follow you
yet I struggle with this
I said no becuase of worries over money
how would I pay the bills, have health insurance, feed my family
you know I love you, but there are limits

Jesus, you know I love you
I saw you wallking toward me
and wanted to do what you were doing
I started out strong
my eyes were on you and I took that leap of faith
but my vision wavered
I was distracted by life
and I started to sink
I forgot you there before me
you know I love you, but I looked away

Jesus, you know I love you
you asked us if we knew who you were
I shared my faith in you
I told you what I believed
but then I pushed you, pulled you,
wanted you to conform to my image of the divine
and you told me there was a different way
you know I love, even when I forgot who you are

Jesus, you know I love you
you asked me to stay awake
you wanted me to be alert
and yet I dozed off
I fell asleep, again and again and again
my attention wandered
you know my phone with its games and its news and its distraction
pulled me away, help me get lost in the trivial
you wanted me to pray with you
and I went on autopilot
you know I love you, but I fell asleep

Jesus, you know I love you
you told me I would deny you
I would pretend I didn't know you
they just thought you were the opiate of the masses
so I didn't share my faith
I didn't share how you, taught me to seek justice, to love mercy, to care
I just spoke the words of the academy, philosophy, politics
you know I love you, I jest kept it in a box, safe inside

Jesus, you know I love you
I pulled out my sword and hurt someone
I said something unkind
I was thoughless and cruel with my words
I screamed and yelled
I hurt someone
you said enough and healed the harm I had caused
you know I love you, even when I act unkindly

Jesus, you know I love you
you ask me to sit with this
you ask me again and again if I love you
so I stop here
and breath in and out ,,, Lord, you know I love you....

feed my people
tend my people
care for my people
love my people
serve my people
follow me